In writing this, I realise that I have never shared these thoughts publically. It is a big deal for me.
I don’t really talk about the death of my mother - it is easier not too. I share this now because I hope this helps you write your Me & You book.
I want to be totally honest.
I initially wrote that I ‘began this book for my daughter’. That’s not true. I didn’t. I started this book for me. To make sure that after I am gone (whenever that may be) I am not forgotten by my daughters. Having lost my mother, I realise I don’t know much about her, and that hurts. Losing someone never leaves you. You learn to cope, but you never really get over it. It is part of who you are and how you think - it is part of life.
I hope this book helps your daughter understand why you began writing about your life. I hope it helps soften the grief of having someone die without really getting to know them. I hope it does this before it happens, so you and your daughter can share a bond in this book that can be passed down from generation to generation and be a beautiful reminder of the life and love you shared. Your journey together, no matter how long or short.
I also know, that my daughters will not fully appreciate this book until they really need it, which will be when I am gone. When I am no longer around to play a role in shaping their lives. That reality is difficult to face.
Knowing this, I think about if my mother was alive, would I have talked about the kinds of things in this book? Probably not and that is not because I don’t care. It is more about thinking your parents will always be there. And they are your parents so you don’t see them as being like you, as having a childhood, falling in love or being naughty. As a child we don’t see these things, we only ever know them as Mum or Dad.
This book is about sharing stories, memories, thoughts, hopes and aspirations for your daughter. But more than this - at the core of the reason why I am doing this - is this book allows me to provide a permanent record of me, for my daughter. To share an account of my life growing up, before she was around, so she knows how I came to be me, and how she came to be mine.
So no matter what, I am always around. My daughter has me in this book. She has me in the handwriting and the photos. She has me because I took the time, even if I don’t finish it. She has me because this is in my words. She has me because all she has to do is open the book, and I am with her, always. She has me...
I wish you every joy in starting this book for your daughter. No matter the reason, it is going to be special because it is from your heart to hers. As a daughter who won’t have a book finished for her, I know your daughter will love it, treasure it, keep it with her, open and read it when she wants to be close to you. If this helps you and your daughter, then the reason I created this book doesn’t really matter. She has you in this book and that’s all that matters.